Brothers and sisters, Bapak would like to explain about the desires, which are in fact the obstacles in your worship of Almighty God. There are four kinds of desires. The first is called angkara, the second murka, the third keinginan, and the fourth jatmika.

The influence of angkara in your inner feeling causes you to want to sow dissension, to quarrel, to argue; in short, to create a commotion or disturbance.

The second is murka. If it influences your inner feeling, it causes you to want to be the best, to want to win, to want to be the cleverest. In short, you do not like to be surpassed, you do not like to be exceeded or even equalled by other people.

And keinginan is the desire that causes you to want to possess things that you have seen and thought about.

The fourth is jatmika, the desire that is gentle, that likes to give way and to help: to help one’s fellow human beings, to show love and affection towards others, and to be in harmony. The fourth desire is the desire that can always accept, so it causes a person to remember to worship God and to remember their responsibility as a human being who has been given life by the power of God.

Indeed, these four kinds of desire are necessary for human beings, so that they may possess enthusiasm, the motivation to go after what they need; because without these desires people would have no enthusiasm to work. But human beings should be careful; they need to reflect that their desires – which create the enthusiasm that motivates their wish to know something or possess something, or whatever – need to be limited. And as for how to limit these desires, for this we need to use the fourth desire: to ensure that we do not use the other desires excessively.

However, at the times when you worship God you do not need to use the desires. You should not let them have any power or influence over your inner feeling; because when the desires are there, God cannot give you anything, and you yourself cannot possibly receive what you ought to receive. That is the reason why in the latihan, or when you are about to do latihan, you are required not to think about anything; because if you are still thinking about something it means that the desires, which reside in your heart and mind, are still active. And the desires are like an entrance for the low forces, by which they can enter your inner feeling. Therefore, if you can let go of and put aside your thinking and your heart during and before the latihan, so that there is no desire at all, it is clear that in the latihan you will not be affected or influenced by low forces, which still always hinder, put pressure on and manipulate your inner feeling.

The fact that in the latihan you sometimes move, shriek or howl like an animal does not mean that you are affected or influenced by low forces having entered your inner feeling at that moment. It is caused by something that was already within you before you joined Subud, and that needs to be reawakened in the latihan so that thereby, you become clean and no longer have this in your inner feeling. And in its place will come your life force as a human being, which will eventually take charge and be in control in your inner feeling. Only then will you truly be able to receive guidance and education from God that is especially for your life as a human being, so that you know about life in this world and its continuation, the life after death. Therefore do not feel afraid if you experience a latihan like that, with screams or strange movements, because it is all purification of your inner feeling.

As an example, brothers and sisters, Bapak can give you an illustration. Here Bapak is talking only about an excellent human seed, he is not speaking in general; that is to say, not everyone is like that. This only applies to human beings who are indeed born as human beings with a human soul. When such a child is born, they know, understand, see, hear and can feel what exists in the realm of the soul. Nevertheless, as the child grows bigger and can see the shapes of this world and the various kinds of things in the world, and is eventually able to think, they then start to be affected by the atmosphere of this world. The more the child is affected by the atmosphere of this world over the years, the more their connection with their soul, which used to be the framework of their life, is buried. So in the end this person understands the things of this world better than spiritual things.

That is why, with regard to their belief in God – the question of whether Almighty God exists – human beings still make use of their thinking mind. So what believes in the existence of God is their thinking, whereas actually their thinking cannot possibly experience the reality of God’s power. Hence many educated people, who have clever minds, seem not to believe in the existence of God, because they think that if God existed God could surely be seen, thought about and touched. This is because, indeed, people have got used to understanding things with their thinking mind and intelligence.

That is why human beings in ancient times said words to the effect that, ‘God exists, but does not exist; yet it is impossible that God does not exist.’

Truly, these words are very difficult to understand and to interpret, because how can it be that God does not exist and yet it is impossible that God does not exist? If Bapak interprets these words: God is said to exist because people believe that God surely exists on account of all that has been created; because if something comes to be, someone must have created it. That is true of the human beings on this earth, the earth itself, and of the whole universe that is seen in the sky: if that exists, surely there is One who created it. It could not exist without a Creator. So, basing their belief on that, people say God exists. Then again, they say [God] does not exist, because [God] cannot be found; [God] cannot be discovered with the mind, the heart or the senses. Finally, they say it is impossible that [God] does not exist.

While human beings still use their heart and thinking mind, certainly they will not be able to know. But when they no longer search and no longer wish to know God, and simply surrender to God, then they will know: for the One who gives them the knowledge of God’s existence is not a human being but God alone.

That is the reason why, not only here but in other places, including Indonesia, it is very difficult for people to interpret or to prove the existence and true nature of the power of God. So, because of the difficulties they experience when they try to do that, they force themselves to cut down on whatever they are accustomed to; that is, they reduce all kinds of desires and even go away to isolated places. In Indonesia this is called bertapa [asceticism]. Sometimes, even then, they still cannot find clear proofs to confirm there is a power that pervades the whole universe as well as the human self.

In reality, human beings can only receive and feel the nature of God and God’s power if they can really put aside their desires and stop the working of their thinking and intelligence. That is the reason why many people have difficulty with this, because to be able to quieten the mind and paralyse the desires is not an easy thing to do. However, when human beings can truly quieten their heart and mind and paralyse the working of the desires in their heart, they will be able to receive something that awakens the inner feeling, an awakening that is beyond the mind and beyond desire. For in truth, the power of God is within everything that is in the inner feeling and is beyond everything that is outside the inner feeling; it goes before everything that is before, and comes after everything that is last.

As Bapak said, yesterday or the day before, the power of God is always there behind all your actions and is there at the end, at your destination. That is what Bapak said the day before yesterday, and it is in line with what he is saying this evening.

Therefore, the advice Bapak gives you is that you do not need to be anxious; you do not need to doubt. For under everything that is beneath – for example, within your heart when it doubts – within it, behind it, there is the power of God. So if you truly surrender and truly believe in God, you will become aware of what arises from your inner feeling. In this way you will be aware of how the power of God always guides you, always follows your footsteps and your movements.

As proof of the reality of what Bapak has been saying, you have received this [latihan]: an awakening that you have not wished for, a movement the origin of which you do not know, but which in fact comes from what Bapak said just now is within everything that is within. And the movement of the vibration that you have received – this something that is within everything that is within – causes whatever is above it, whatever is outside it, to move. And then you move.

Now, since the part of you that can receive first is the feeling of the body – the flesh, the skin, the bones, the blood vessels and the muscles – that is what can receive, so far. But it does not stop there; once everything moves it will reach the feeling of your heart and your thinking – your brain, where thinking takes place – and that will also be moved. In this way, you will truly become aware of the power of God within everything that is within.

Just as an example, take your seeing. Why are you unable to see God and God’s power? It is because your seeing has been covered or loaded up with everything that you have seen during your life in this world.

It is the same with your hearing. Why are your ears unable to hear the sound of God’s power, which in fact envelops you both inwardly and outwardly? It is because your hearing has been covered or loaded up with all that you hear in this world; so that when you think about what the sound of God’s power is like, you are sure to compare it to the sound of things you have heard in this world.

Similarly with your seeing. Maybe the way you imagine God and God’s power is that it is more or less like something you once saw or observed. In short, all the parts of your being, both those that are outside and those that are inside, have been covered up and sullied by the atmosphere of the world, which you have experienced from the time you were born until you grew up and became an adult.

And with the beginning of this movement of life that you receive beyond your expectation, the cover or dirt from the influence of the world begins little by little to move aside, as though it is being shifted or cleaned. In the end, when that is done, you will really be able to see, to hear, to feel and to think about the presence and the power of God that envelops your being.

For you to be able to discover that – not to speed up [your latihan], but to experience this reality more quickly – it is very necessary for you always to be patient, entrust yourselves to God and let go. Because having these feelings will cause the four desires no longer to influence your heart and mind in a way that creates slow progress and obstacles to your attaining the level you need.

Indeed, this has been said since long ago by human beings who received grace from God, like the messengers, whom you may have read about in books or heard about from other people. They said that the absolute condition, the essential condition for human beings to be able to receive the contact of life from God’s power, is none other than to have an attitude and feelings that are patient; to entrust themselves to God; to let go of everything and believe in Almighty God.

It is fortunate for us – for you – that you have been able to receive the contact of life, which is so difficult to obtain. For you this is a step forward, as a result of which you will find whatever you do easier than other people do who have not received this. So you need only to receive; and when you receive, receive patiently, entrusting yourself to God and letting go of everything. And do not use your thinking mind any more in order to understand. Because the thinking mind you now have is, in its nature, still a mind that is covered by the atmosphere of the world, which you have taken in and experienced and which has entered your inner feeling from the time you were born until now you are an adult.

Brothers and sisters, this is the end of the talk Bapak needed to give you this evening, and he would like to finish at this point.

Apart from doing some kind of testing with you, like yesterday and the day before, Bapak also needs to say a few words to all of you. He says thank you very much to everyone, especially to Dorothea and her husband, who were willing to receive him and provided him with a truly pleasant place to stay. He thanks you very much. Bapak simply prays that God may give something that will enable Dorothea and her family to experience happiness in their life until the end of the time God has determined for them.

And since Bapak will be leaving Wellington tomorrow and continuing his journey to Auckland, he needs to take his leave of you. In doing so, he prays that after he has left here God may grant that you are able to find what you are hoping for, and that you experience a happy life with your families.