... as you know, the latihan – the Subud training – is in fact not the kind of training a person does to strengthen their muscles or make their body supple in order to become strong, nor to excel in dancing or martial arts; it is an awakening of the inner self that eventually manifests as movement, and which arises when the influence of the desires2 that reside in the heart3 and thinking is stopped. The proof is that before you receive a movement – in other words, before you feel yourself move – you empty yourself of what you are paying attention to or thinking about. So, the way it works is that you just receive and follow what happens, while your heart and thinking are simply spectators.

Therefore it is clear that the Subud latihan absolutely does not come from the will of the desires that reside in your heart and thinking in order to build up your strength and make your body supple. Rather, once your inner feeling becomes free of the influence of your desires, you are touched by the power of the Great Life that always envelops you: the power of Almighty God. That is why Bapak continually says that the Subud latihan exists and comes only by the grace of Almighty God. And, since that is its origin, it is clear that the latihan is truly the guidance and direction of God’s power.

Brothers and sisters, Bapak needs to explain something here, because some of you may ask. If it is truly guidance and direction from God, then why is it that there are members who do not receive very easily, or not in a sequential way; and why are there some who do the same thing over and over again for a long time? The truth is that this is not because there is something wrong with the guidance and the direction; it is the faults within these members themselves, whose nature has been defective for a long time. If one were to compare their nature to soil, it would be like soil that is full of stones. So if one wants to work on this soil and make it fertile, first the stones have to be removed in an orderly way.

Well, you certainly do not feel that your nature is defective, because you have never done anything wrong during your life. But do not forget that you exist because of your parents, and they because of their parents, and so on; and added to all that are those mistakes of your own, which you no longer remember. There are those among you who say that after following the latihan for a long time you still cannot feel any improvement in your imperfect character. There are also those who say that they do not feel any change in the wretched circumstances of their life, even though they have been diligently following the Subud latihan for a long time. It is clear that all this is caused by the fact that their being is still faulty, as Bapak just explained.

Indeed, if you do not have a firm heart it is easy for you to fall into despair. That is why Bapak hopes you will have a feeling of patience, and accept what you receive, for the process of purification within you has to go slowly because of the many faults in your inner feeling. This is with God’s power doing the work. Imagine how it would be if you tried to do it yourself; it would not just be slow, it would be impossible for you to do it. Therefore do not quickly fall into despair and feel ungrateful to Almighty God.

Brothers and sisters, it is our good fortune if we diligently follow the Subud latihan, which in reality is the guidance and direction of Almighty God. So you must have a feeling of patience and faith in the power of Almighty God when you are following the process of the latihan. For once the purification process in your inner feeling is finished, your inner feeling will be free of the influence of the desires – the cause of your dirt and your faults. This means that your inner feeling will be clean. If you compare it to soil, it will be like a fertile soil that fosters beneficial growth for you and the community. In this way also, you will have children who are human beings with good characters and who behave well.

Returning to the subject of purification: there may be those among you who would like to know what it is that is actually being purified. Bapak explained earlier that if one compares your being to a soil, it is full of stones. In the case of your being, it is full of dirt or faults that are wrong actions coming both from your ancestors and from yourself. And these wrong actions, which create the dirt in your inner feeling, come about through the influence of the desires that are manipulated by the low life forces.

Indeed, brothers and sisters, when a person is under the influence of the desires, whatever they do feels as if it comes from their own will. It is rare that a person can grasp that they do what they do because of the desires; so they are unaware that what they do is steered by the low life forces that are influencing their being.

And so, once these faults and dirt have piled up in their inner feeling, which was once clean and wide, it becomes dirty and narrow; and because it is dirty and narrow it can no longer be a container for a high life force. Therefore, for a person whose inner feeling is full of dirt and faults, the life force that fills their being will inevitably be a low one, for a low life force can make do with a narrow container.

The wrong actions that cause dirt in the inner feeling are actions that reduce the happiness of other people, slander them, manipulate them, cause them to become ill or to die, which make chaos in the community, resulting in instability, hardship and so on. All these are the result of the influence of desires used by the low forces that work in the inner feeling. When low life forces are present and dominate the human inner feeling, one can compare them to vagabonds, who are ignorant of any code of good behaviour and who feel as though they have come to a place of abundance – as though they are in heaven. Once there, they will act in the inhuman ways Bapak just described.

That is why purification is necessary if a person wishes to change the content of their self in order to improve their bad character, or to be filled by a life force that behaves well and can worship God in a complete way. But the reality is that such a wish cannot be fulfilled if God does not give His grace, for this is something that can be done only by the power of God.

This is the reason why for many people who practise asceticism – initially in the hope that a high force or soul might fill their being – the outcome is that they become more cruel, being willing to use their power over others to do harm, to make them fall ill or die. So it is clear that if you want to practise asceticism you first need to discover the nature of the life forces that are in charge within your being. For if it happens that your being is filled with a low life force, then your asceticism will just strengthen its power. Therefore, in practising asceticism you should not simply depend on your courage and your strong will, but if possible start by observing what kind of life force it is that actually fills your being. Fortunately for all of you, you have been able to receive the grace of Almighty God and have started to experience purification carried out by God’s power, enabling you to receive an excellent inner content. This is something that will happen spontaneously through Almighty God.

It is told in the wayang [shadow puppet plays] that whenever the Pandawa knights decided to practise asceticism, it was certain that they would be visited by deities who would come down from heaven and give them whatever help they were asking for. This signifies that the Pandawa knights had high souls and behaved well. One of them, called Harja Sena or Werkudara, was studying under the priest Durna, and Durna intentionally tried to mislead him by telling him to find the holy water of Prawitasari in the depths of the ocean. Durna’s intention was that Harja Sena should drown in the ocean; but, thanks to his high soul, instead of drowning when he plunged into the ocean Harja Sena was able to meet his true teacher – Dewa Ruci, the Holy Spirit – and obtained an experience that he needed for his life.

In the case of the Kurawa knights it was different. Apart from the fact that they disliked self-denial and couldn’t stand practising it – because their life was full of enjoyment and luxury – if for some reason they were forced to [practise asceticism], it would not be a deity who visited them but the king of the devils who happened to be loose in the jungle. What this shows is that the Kurawa knights did not have high souls but low ones.

So in fact you are very fortunate that you have received a contact with the life force that is All-great and envelops your being inwardly and outwardly. This means that for your inner feeling to be purified, in truth all you need to do is to receive it and follow the process. However, in following the process of purification you need to have a feeling of patience, acceptance and willingness to let go in surrendering to Almighty God. Being patient, accepting and willing to let go is important: that is how we should be towards Almighty God, because such a feeling is a confirmation that we truly surrender our body and soul unconditionally to the will of God.

That is the true meaning of acceptance and submission, and that is why it is to be directed only towards the will of God. Do not have such a feeling towards other people; for no matter how good they may be, they are still people, and to some extent they are still interested in reward and have an interest in their own advantage and that of the group to which they belong.

This is illustrated in the wayang by Darmakusuma’s feelings. He is described as a king whose feelings were patient, accepting and willing to let go, so that if someone asked him for anything he would always give it to them. In fact, there was somebody who was brave enough to ask for his wife, and he gave her to him. It is also told that there was once a kidnapper who came to take him away to another country and have him put to death. Once again, he surrendered himself to be taken away. It is true that this shows Darmakusuma had a noble character and his submission was very deep, but through the justice of Almighty God these acts by Darmakusuma were always thwarted by his cousin Krishna. Krishna said that patience, acceptance and willingness to let go should definitely be directed only towards Almighty God, not towards a person. For if your submission is directed towards a person, and that person, as good as they are, still possesses self- interest no greater than a grain of rice, the result will be that you will lose everything you own.

Brothers and sisters, even though these are just stories, they contain a purpose: that those who listen to them or read them should be impelled – whenever they are free of the influence of their desires – to think about the path of their lives, about why things sometimes go this way and sometimes that way. That is why Bapak tells them to you; for although you have already found what you were really looking for or hoping to find, it is not wrong if you use [these examples] as something to think about, strengthening your obedience in receiving and following the process of the latihan.

There is another story, but this is not a wayang story, it is just a story of an ordinary happening. One day an old man came to see Bapak and said that he was a member of another association, whose practice was similar to what people do in Subud. In fact he said that their practice also involved surrendering to Almighty God, and that was why he had come to demonstrate it and find out from Bapak whether what he was doing was correct. So Bapak asked him to stand up and do his practice. After about half an hour Bapak told him to stop, which he did. Bapak then asked him what he had been experiencing. He replied that while he was doing his practice, a feeling started from below and moved upwards until it reached his sex organ, which he referred to as Janaloka. Then it moved higher and stopped at his heart, which he called Indraloka, and then it moved up again to his head, which he called Giriloka.15

Then Bapak asked him, ‘What do you think it meant when that feeling reached your head?’

He replied, ‘That is what I wanted to ask, whether I have truly reached the goal, because after that nothing further happened.’

Bapak replied, ‘This practice of yours is not the latihan, because the Subud latihan comes about and arises when the imagination, heart and thinking stop, so that at that moment you feel a vibration within you that envelops your whole body, which awakens and starts to move without your will. When that happens, your heart and your thinking are like a person who is watching a film: they can watch but they cannot change what they are watching. So it is clear that what you felt just now was a flow of energy that was following your imagination and your will. That means it happened because you wanted it to.’

After Bapak told him this, he asked the man whether he would mind standing up again, and advised him not to imagine or think about anything, but just to be quiet, aware of his inner feeling, and to surrender to the will of Almighty God. At that moment the man’s body started to move, he shouted and then fell down and began rolling around. Eventually he sat cross-legged while his head moved in the same way as someone doing dhikr.4 Not long after that, Bapak said stop and asked him to return to his seat.

After he had sat and drunk the tea Bapak had offered him, Bapak asked how he had felt while his body was moving and he was shouting, falling and rolling around and then sitting like a person doing dhikr. He replied that it was as if a very powerful life force had caused him to move like that, but that he remained conscious and his heart felt calm. Then Bapak asked him, ‘How was your receiving? Was it the same as what you normally experience?’

He replied that it was very different, because what had just happened was from beyond his will, while what he normally practised was always done with his will and his imagination, and with his heart and thinking still wanting to make it happen. After a while he took his leave and left Bapak’s house.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, although it is true that superficially the Subud latihan resembles other practices like spiritism, hypnotism, occultism and so on, in fact it is very different. You may already have become aware of this while following the latihan.

So it is clear that the Subud latihan is a training of the soul. You need that, so that if you have a low soul it can be replaced by one that is high. But changing your soul actually means dying, and death is the cessation of all of your life. That is why it cannot possibly be done by a human being, only by the power of Almighty God. So even though the latihan looks like people practising dance, martial arts, or prayer and dhikr, it is in fact a training of the soul. Thus when you are dancing it does not come from your desire or your heart, but from your soul. Similarly, if you are doing martial arts, praying or doing dhikr, it is not caused by the movement of your desires and your heart, but by your soul.

Undoubtedly, while doing the latihan you will have felt that your desires and your heart cannot work any longer; and normally a person who is stripped of their desires and their heart is certain to die. Therefore you should never have the idea that the Subud latihan, which comes from the grace of God, is like an amusement or has no benefit. In fact it is what those people are looking for who spend years practising asceticism.

To describe it in more detail: in following the process of the latihan there are those of you whose movements and energy resemble an animal or something frightening. This shows that your soul is an animal soul or a material soul. It may be that in receiving such movements your heart would like to change them, but it cannot do so because your heart and thinking have no power in this situation. So they have no choice but to follow what is happening. Well, who wants to acknowledge that they have a low soul? Normally people are not willing to abase themselves or to admit that they have a bad character. The fact is that there are many people who are intelligent, who speak well, have a high status and claim that they have a great and noble soul, and yet their behaviour is quite bad. This shows that in reality they still have a low soul.

Therefore it is very important to understand the nature of your soul and to obtain its transformation. However, as Bapak has often said, it is not possible for a person to succeed in changing their soul; it can be done only by the power of Almighty God. That is why it is necessary for people to surrender to God with patience, acceptance and submission to God’s will.

That’s how it is, brothers and sisters; so you, who have been able to receive and follow the guidance and direction of Almighty God that manifest in the Subud latihan should not still be easily influenced by your desires, for that is the same as returning your faults and your dirt to your inner feeling. It also means that you are supporting the position of your low soul.

Bapak explained earlier that the reason why purification is necessary is so that your inner feeling may become clean and wide. And once it is clean and wide it will spontaneously be filled by a superior life force or soul. So if you keep putting back your faults and your dirt, it means that you are still protecting the low soul that is in charge within you, and are still attached to it. The truth is that you have to sacrifice that low soul if you want your being to be taken over by a human soul with an excellent character.

While you have been doing the latihan you may sometimes have experienced the movements of an animal, and made sounds like cluck-cluck-cluck, meow-meow, ba-a-a-a, and so on. What this indicates is that the soul or life force that has the upper hand within your being is an animal one. Those of you who have experienced this must feel surprised, and might ask yourselves how it is possible for a human being, who possesses an intellect, to contain an animal soul. Well, that is the normal view of a mind unaware that the heart and thinking are merely tools of a soul that has an animal nature. This is why, to become aware of the reality of your soul, it is very necessary for you to free your inner feeling from the influence of your heart and thinking. And this is something that can be done only by the power of God, which through God’s grace has manifested within you. Therefore this comes back to your surrender to God’s will with acceptance and submission.

To understand surrender: surrendering with acceptance and submission to God’s will affirms that you do not rely on your own ability, but rely more on and have greater trust in God, who indeed rules over your life. As an example, it often happens that children of people who are considered holy have a bad character. The reason for this is that their parents used to rely entirely on their own ability, considering it to be pure; and they believed that they could do as they wished, no longer needing to surrender everything to Almighty God. This shows that a person should not base everything on their own ability, considering it to be perfect in every way.

So, brothers and sisters, even though you have not yet reached the level that you need to reach, while you are receiving and following the Subud latihan – which is the guidance and direction of God’s power – it is best if you always have a feeling of patience and surrender to the will of God, with acceptance and a willingness to let go. And in your actions and behaviour you need to be alert and attentive, even if only partially, since your every movement is accompanied by the power of God that envelops you inwardly and outwardly. The proof that this is true is that in latihan, people walk about saying, ‘Allah, Allah, Allah’. The meaning of this is that their hands and their feet are moving in accordance with the will of God. In this way you will eventually be able to feel the difference between walking from your desires and will, and walking from your inner feeling that is free from the influence of your heart and thinking, and you will be completely conscious of both.

Many members overseas receive this too, and they frequently ask about its meaning. Bapak replies that their movements are overshadowed by the power of God. Therefore he warns them not to behave inappropriately, as they may have done in the past. Bapak says that because if you distance yourself from such bad behaviour, the Great life force that always follows and envelops your inner feeling can go deeper, until you can feel that it penetrates not only your movements and actions but also your speech, your sense of smell, your hearing and seeing. People of old who received the grace of God described that state as ‘always being followed’. The meaning of these words is that the Great life force always follows those who have received God’s grace, in everything they do. So it could be said that you see while sensing what it is that makes you see; you hear while sensing what it is that makes you hear; you smell while sensing what it is that makes you smell something; and you feel the pleasure and the bliss of your sexual union while sensing what it is that makes it blissful.

Even though what has been said so far does not cover every-thing you need for your life to be perfect, it may have given you more confidence that your life is no longer empty. This is because you have the reality that in every movement and action you are accompanied by the Great life force that envelops you inwardly and outwardly. This is the benefit of the Subud latihan, and the reason why Bapak always advises you to be diligent and patient, accepting and willing to let go in receiving and following the process of your latihan. When Bapak tells you really to have faith in Almighty God and to surrender to God with patience, acceptance and submission, you must really do it – it should not be on your lips alone. This is because it is only fair that if you have faith and surrender to God only with your mouth, you will also receive only in your mouth.

Bapak knows that you would like everything to be easy. But how is it possible to plant a mango tree today and pick the fruit tomorrow, or plant rice today and harvest it tomorrow? The fact is that there is no profit you can reap without first working hard and making sacrifices. It is a universal law that a plant grows bigger day by day, month by month and year by year, and it is not unaffected by powerful winds and heavy rain. So it is clear that the time it takes for the good times you hope for to arrive is part of your journey. That is why it is very important for you to have a feeling of patience, and not to be easily affected by the sickness of boredom in receiving and following the Subud latihan.

All right, this is the end of Bapak’s talk to you all, and he will now continue by testing with you, so that to some extent you can witness the reality of what Bapak has been saying.

[Testing]

Notes

1. The recording is lost and the translation is of a surviving transcript. It should be noted that the current translators have not always found transcripts of this period to be completely reliable.

2. Desires: the word nafsu, which is usually translated as ‘desires’ or ‘passions’ depending on the context, refers to the motivations within a person that are influenced by the low life forces.

The content of the desires is the wish to be capable, the wish to be good, the wish to receive more quickly, the wish to be cleverer than others, not wanting to give in, not wanting to be called stupid, and so on.

Bapak, Paris 1959. [Vol. 6, 59 PAR 3 p239]

3. Heart: the word hati, which is usually translated as heart, is the feeling that is limited to our mortal nature. Literally, hati means ‘the liver’ and is considered to be the seat of the feelings, emotions and desires. ‘Heart’ is not a perfect fit however, for in Bapak’s usage it is also the place where imagining and daydreaming take place. Therefore in some places the word ‘imagination’ has been considered to be a more appropriate translation.

The content of the human heart is the images of all that a person has experienced from childhood, throughout their life and into old age.

4. Dhikr is a Muslim prayer referred to as ‘the recollection of God’, which consists of repeating ‘la ilaha illa ’llah’ [there is no God but Allah], while rhythmically turning the head from side to side.

15. In Arabic, muqaddas (Janaloka) means ‘sacred’ or ‘sanctified’; muharram (Indraloka) means ‘inviolable’ or ‘hallowed’; ma