Brothers and sisters, actually Bapak was not going to do testing this evening, but because there are members who have just arrived here and who seem to want it very much, Bapak has changed from latihan to testing.

Testing is in fact of more benefit to you, because when testing is done, many parts of your self are aroused or wakened. And testing also includes something of just the same nature as when you are doing the latihan kejiwaan.

That being so, Bapak considers it important to test with you all, because if it is a matter of doing the latihan, you can do that by yourselves in the care of helpers. But when it is a question of testing, that is not possible, because this testing is like an examination, so only Bapak can conduct it.

Bapak will start at once, so he asks all the women to come forward.

( Testing )

Brothers and sisters, Bapak will explain to you about the latihan kejiwaan, to enable you to be aware of the need, the use and the benefit of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud that you have received and are following.

In fact the latihan kejiwaan of Subud - which is a thrill or vibration of the inner feeling that you receive, which eventually extends to the whole of you and awakens every part of your self - is not something new, not something new that you now feel; it is something which has existed as long as mankind has existed.

This being so, you need not feel this is a novel thing, something strange, for indeed it has already been present in your lives. It is only because you have for a long time forgotten and neglected something which exists within you that in the end you feel as if it were something new. You certainly have been aware of it in the past, brothers and sisters, for you have experienced it yourselves, but it seems that it easily slips from the memory and is easily forgotten after your birth.

When first born you were still a little child or baby, not yet able to perceive the shapes of your earthly surroundings, not yet able to distinguish the sounds of this world, not yet able to smell things, and also not yet able to taste what was sweet, what was sour, what was salt, and so on But you were already able to display happiness and unhappiness and inward suffering. For instance, sometimes your face would seem to be smiling; at times you would look as if hurt or troubled, and sometimes too you would cry.

Yes; as far as the parents of the child - or parents who see a child doing this - are concerned it can be called ordinary for children to be like that, but in fact nothing happens without cause. Thus a newly born baby, who can already cry and can already show a smile on its face, is certainly feeling something. And what is felt at that time is nothing other than changing events that are going on, though in the kejiwaan.

So in other words, brothers and sisters, newly born babies, like you yourselves when first born, are not yet familiar with the earthly-world but are already familiar with the sphere of the kejiwaan.

Hence it is really true that when you were born your jiwa was already alive and able to be active, even though outwardly you were as yet unable to perceive the forms and so on of your earthly surroundings. Plainly, then, when first born into the world, brothers and sisters, you were closer to your jiwa, though far from observing your worldly environment.

Then, brothers and sisters, as days, weeks and months went by, you began to be able to see the shapes of your earthly surroundings; you began to hear sounds, you began to smell odors, and you also began to be able to taste what was sweet and what was not sweet. So began an estrangement, meaning a separation, between your feelings and your jiwa. Increasingly, with the months and years, you began to be able to see clearly what we call white and what we call red, and what is large and what is small. And you had begun too to be able to hear sounds and tell loud from soft and also melodious from unmelodious. So was it also with your sense of smell, until you could sense when you were given something nasty that you did not like, and could choose what was nice.

In this way, brothers and sisters, the more time went by, the greater the gap between your ordinary feelings and your inner feeling and jiwa. But you began to draw close to your earthly environment, until in due course you grew into children and began school and became youths. Your hearts and minds began to consider outer things, what is to be seen in the world. And you began to separate from your jiwa, to be really isolated from it. You no longer understood the things you felt when you were newly born.

That is the cause, brothers and sisters, of it not being easy for you to believe in God. Why? Because you cannot believe in anything you cannot see as you see that a house is white, that it is a big house or a small house, that a person is tall or short, and so on.

That, brothers and sisters, is the reason for what Bapak is now saying: that before you had followed the latihan kejiwaan of Subud whose way you are now able to receive and follow - meaning at the time you were opened - you felt it was something new and strange compared with what you were used to, because it was no longer usual for you to recognize the arousing and activity of your inner self.

So, really and truly, the latihan kejiwaan of Subud is not something new, but something old, which has been present throughout your lives and is now just being started up afresh and newly restored to you all again. Why is it like that? Because you have been forgetful of your jiwa all the while; more and more as time went on.

This is something that shows the love of God for mankind, the love of God for you all. Brothers and sisters, it is this that shows you truly are loved by God.

Because of that, if you do not respond, do not love God when God loves you, you are truly sinning, sinning against your own self, sinning against your own jiwa, sinning too against the One God, because you are unable to follow and heed the love of God that has been embodied in your self, enabling you to feel and know things when you were still babies, before you became men and women as you are now.

This way will enable you to know when you really love God; you will really be able to give evidence of it before God Almighty. You will be able to feel and know how you came into being and also how you will be after you have gone from this world.

Brothers and sisters, sin and sinning mean doing something that truly harms your self. You sin against your inner self, which means you block your way in life; you block the way to enable you to receive and be aware of everything you possess, all the parts of the body, for instance, so that you really are in the dark and neither know nor understand the use of each part of your self.

True, brothers and sisters, you are already well able to write: you are already well able to think about some job which you will work at, so that you will be able to get its fruits - meaning subsistence, a living. But all that, it can be said, is essentially imitative; it does not originate in your own self.

Just by way of illustration - not that Bapak says you are like animals, no - just suppose you were a tiger, for instance, or a lion, like those Bapak has just seen. Normally a lion eats meat, but if it was brought up among sheep, among cattle, it would be forced to eat grass. Yes, grass can also build flesh, brothers and sisters, can nurture flesh and blood, because sheep and cattle are used to eating it. But how hard it would be for a lion to be made to eat grass, for its teeth are not suited to what it would be eating. It is another matter for sheep and cattle, because their teeth are not pointed, their teeth are blunt, so that they are able to eat grass. That is just an illustration.

So, brothers and sisters, although you are able to live and also to earn a living, you earn it in a way that does not originate in your self; thus it is not really what you ought to be doing. This is why, even supposing you are working and earning 10,000 dollars a month, you are still always in a troubled state. If your children are not sick it is yourself, if it is not yourself it is your wife; or if it is not your wife it is your parents. And apart from that, you don't feel happy. Why is it? Because nothing you possess really belongs to you.

This is why it is, brothers and sisters, so it is very necessary for you to have the latihan kejiwaan to enable you to discover your inner self. In this way you will be able to have peace of mind, even though you are not getting 10,000 dollars a month but, say, 500 dollars a month. But your life will be peaceful, your life will be quiet, your life will be tranquil, calm and with full awareness. That is what people are seeking.

It is not material possessions that bring peace of mind; it is not riches that bring peace and tranquility. Truly it is understanding, awareness about man's worship of God. If you are able to receive the nearness of God, the nearness of God to your own self, then at the least you will be happy people, for you will be able to know and realize what your life is - your life before you were put to live on earth and your life after you have left the world.

As Bapak always tells you, brothers and sisters, people can receive the vibration of life that is called the latihan kejiwaan, as you have received it, and this vibration will make contact with people's inner feeling when the nafsu which live in the human inner self are gone from it. Yet, if the nafsu should disappear from your inner feeling, it would mean the disappearance of your soul or of your life. So, in other words, if you succeeded in avoiding the nafsu you would die, or at least become someone completely powerless. Why is it, then, that you are nevertheless able to receive the vibration of life that has its origin in the power of God Almighty? Because of God; because God wills that at this present time mankind should be able to receive it. It is necessary in order that people shall not endlessly be influenced and held down by the material forces that are always affecting them.

This is how it is, brothers and sisters, so Bapak says it is very lucky for us that we, the whole Kejiwaan Brotherhood of Subud, have been able to receive the love and mercy of God Almighty, so that we can discover and get something desired by mankind throughout the world - that is, really succeed in obtaining a contact with the greatness of God.

Brothers and sisters, to take part in what you have witnessed for yourselves in the course of the testing that Bapak has done is to have witnessed that the One God really does love you all and has implanted His power in every part of you. And His love is such that every part of you gives some indication, an indication about how and where you should take steps and act. This a very great good fortune. As Bapak has just said, you will be able to discover your original inner self, so that you can work, can do your work and earn your living without bypassing your worship of God, and in accordance with your individuality and your own gifts. This can truly make your life a happy one.

Brothers and sisters, you do of course understand what is called the latihan. You have done the latihan; in other words you have received the latihan kejiwaan of Subud. The latihan, brothers and sisters, is not a way by which you will later receive factual data; rather, the latihan is in the form of training. So you have been trained, you have been exercised. But supposing you have already had so many years of training but have never put it into practice, never done anything with it, then that ten or twenty years of training can be said to be completely meaningless. For you just go on being trained and never make use of it, never put it into practice.

It is as if you just kept on attending a school; as if you had been attending a school of architecture for thirty years but had never built a house. What use are those thirty years at a school? And what use is a school of architecture if after thirty years there you are unable to build a house?

This is how it is, brothers and sisters, so, after receiving and practicing the latihan kejiwaan, put it into effect; put it to work; make practical use of it. And how are you to put it into effect? In such a way that you do not diverge from the guidance of God Almighty, which means that in all your activities and behavior you remain in the shadow of God Almighty.

This being so, you will be able to know and be aware of the uses and benefits of the latihan kejiwaan, and this will also mean that you will not leave Subud, you will not give up the latihan kejiwaan of Subud, because the latihan kejiwaan of Subud is of benefit to your life. Bapak does not blame the brothers and sisters who leave Subud. He does not blame them, because of course they do not yet know and cannot yet receive the benefits of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud. If you have been able to receive the reality and the benefits of the latihan kejiwaan of Subud, you will not leave Subud or the latihan kejiwaan of Subud.

And it is for that reason, so that you should get the habit of never straying from the shadow of God and the guidance and direction of God, that Bapak suggests that the Subud members should run enterprises. The significance of enterprises run by members is that they are undertakings that come from the inner feeling, come from the jiwa, so that you will be able to work at something that does not conflict with your individual talents.

That is the point, brothers and sisters, so Bapak suggests to all the members that they should start enterprises. In the enterprises you run you will always receive the guidance and direction of God, and automatically your outward skills will develop; as well as your jiwa. There will be plenty of outward progress and your inner will develop properly.

You can weigh this up: why is it that people in the jungles, who are just like you, no different from you - why is it that they make no progress whatever, so that they live like animals? Why is this? Because their hearts and minds do not care; they have no understanding yet of the way to expand their lives. Provided they can eat, that is enough, and they go to sleep. Provided they have some simple clothing, they feel that that is enough.

Thus it is very necessary, brothers and sisters, that you should always have questions in your lives, should always have questions to put before the One God. God will not give people anything, God will not give any of you anything, unless you make efforts. That is why it is said that God will not change anyone's fate unless that person himself wishes to change his fate. That is how it is, brothers and sisters. That is the justice of God, that is the justice of God the All-powerful towards anything faced by His creatures.

That is how it is, brothers and sisters; so, in order that you may get results from what you are doing, it is very necessary for you to carry on enterprises. And in the kejiwaan you will not be able to receive results like visible worldly results. Supposing you get results from the jiwa, they are not like results people obtain in the world, things one can see, for instance, things one can touch and that have earthly uses. Thus the fruits of the latihan kejiwaan, the results you will receive from the kejiwaan, are for the needs of your life after you have gone from the world.

So if you carry on enterprises you will get results: first, results in the kejiwaan, that you need for your life after you have left this world: and second, results from the enterprises, obtained through guidance and direction from the greatness of God Almighty, which you can use for your earthly life. In this way you will receive and experience happiness both in your earthly life and in your life after you have left this world.

Brothers and sisters, about enterprises a great deal needs to be said, so Bapak will go on tomorrow night with this talk about them that Bapak is giving you or putting to you, because there is not enough time to complete the talk tonight. So Bapak hopes you will not feel disappointed if he now concludes his talk for this evening.

Thank you - good night.